Fragilely Immortal
by elcartio
Summary: An original fic based on an original newborn. Watch as he discovers who he is, who he was, what he's capable of...and what he's /not/ capable of. Story will include most, if not all, of Twilight's canon characters. Please leave a short review if you read! Thanks!
1. Prologue

**Fragilely Immortal**

Prologue

_February, 1941_

_University of California, Berkley Campus_

The young man walking to his dormitory was ecstatic. He had been chosen to be Dr. Seaborg's new laboratory assistant, and had just finished the paperwork that committed him to a two-year, paid internship with the famous chemist. He was scheduled to graduate in May, and this development would keep him from having to enter the draft for the developing world war.

Not that the young man thought that there was anything wrong with fighting for his country – it was just that his talents leaned more toward the research and development part of the war, rather than the actual fighting. Rumor had it that Dr. Seaborg was on the verge of discovering a new, radioactive element – something that could possibly be used in a weapon to fight the Nazis and their allies.

As thoughts of scientific discovery and possible Nobel Prizes danced through his head, the young man did not take notice of his surroundings. It was very dark – the moon was completely hidden by clouds of the darkest gray, and no light penetrated them. The street lamps were placed too far apart to adequately illuminate the path, and there were voids of shadow and darkness between them. The darkness could not extinguish the triumph he felt at being selected for Dr. Seaborg's program, the joy. It felt as if his entire life had been moving toward this point in time, and he relished it.

He was already making a queue in his mind, the order in which he would contact his loved ones to tell them the news. His father would be the first – serving in the United States Navy, he'd have to be contacted by telegraph. The man would be extraordinarily proud of his son – he was content with his life in the armed forces, but had always known his son would amount to more than a mere soldier.

Next his mother, who could be reached by telephone. His younger sisters would probably be at home as well, making the call efficient. Citizens, including students at UC Berkley, were encouraged to keep the switchboards clear of everything non-essential, to do their part to aid the war effort.

The young man, caught up in his happy thoughts, did not realize that he was being followed. Truthfully, even if he had been at full alert, he would not have caught the stalker. There were no footfalls to give him away, not even the lightest breathing to hear. The predator slid between the shadows effortlessly, his elegant but obscure clothing making him all but invisible in the night.

The hunter was excited, too. He had just fed on a young co-ed down by the pond, and easily disposed of the body in the science department's industrial incinerator. Well-fed and satisfied, he had actually been on his way back to his lair, a home outside of the campus' sprawling streets. He was careful to keep the exterior of the dwelling dilapidated and the windows boarded, in order to avoid curiosity. He was thinking of ways to fill his time until the next night's feed, when he'd caught the scent of the young man in front of him.

It was perfect. The astonishingly beautiful killer was not only that, a killer – he fancied himself every bit as much a scientist as the young man he was stalking. A dark alchemist, a Doctor Frankenstein, even. The nuances and subtleties between those like himself and those he hunted had always fascinated him. His most recent infatuation was with the idea of creating, instead of murdering. He'd known for years that the venom that coated his razor-edged teeth was capable of making another vampire, even if he himself _wasn't_. Several times he'd tried, to no avail – he had not been able to stop feeding in enough time to leave a token amount of blood in his victim, enough to carry the venom to the heart and through the body. This time, with a stab of hope, he realized that it might be possible.

The young man in front on him was handsome – the vampire noted this in a very matter-of-fact way, even though he himself was unattracted. It was his _scent _that had caught his attention, caused him to divert from his route home. The surprising unattractiveness of his scent had been what drew him in, not the other way around.

Most humans smelled delicious to the hunter. Some better than others, but all were generally fantastic both in scent and taste. This particular vampire preferred young women – he was able to frighten them enough before the kill to actually taste the adrenaline and fear in their blood. Once, he had run across a female who's scent had been so irresistible, he'd ventured into the sunlight and risked exposure rather than let her get away.

This was a first, however. The young man's scent was so bland, so boring, that it had stood out among all the others in the area. The hunter was saturated with the hope that, if the taste was as plain as the smell, he would be able to leave the young man alive. The fact that he had just fed well would only add to his chances of success.

The young man's route was bringing the both of them closer to the dormitories, to the lights. The hunter made up his mind to take him, to try once more to create another vampire. The young man heard nothing as the vampire sprung, wrapping his arms around him. The predator stole him through the dark yards of the campus, making haste for his own home. The young man screamed in confusion and horror at this sudden, inhuman abduction, but the vampire only smiled. By the time anyone came to investigate the cries, if they even did, the two of them would be long gone. As he traversed the moonless city with blinding speed, he talked to the struggling human in his unbreakable grasp.

"Don't struggle," he whispered encouragingly in his captive's ear. "I don't think I'll kill you. You'll be more likely to survive if you don't fight, if you don't scream. Trust me," he purred seductively, and for a wonder, the young man _did _cease his struggles. He did not trust the vampire, as he'd suggested, but he _believed _him. There was something honest in the suggestion that he wouldn't kill him on purpose. The young man's honed, scientific mind presented him with the best course of survival, given these sudden, horrifying circumstances, and he accepted it. Survival required he do what his abductor said. It was because of this that the vampire was able to slip into his den undetected by another soul, left to experiment with this suddenly cooperative victim to his heart's content.

This time would be different. This time, he would succeed.

Author's Note : This is my first attempt at a fic in the Twilight fandom. Please let me know how you think it's going so far. Fair warning – this isn't going to be your typical cutesy Twilight fic. I plan on having lots of darkness and angst, and no one here is going to fall in love with a human. Probably. Anyway, I _do _hope you enjoy, and please review!


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter One

The only thing he remembered with any semblance of clarity was pain.

Pain was not a strong enough word. A word to describe the hell that dominated his memory did not exist. Nor was relief a proper term for the way he felt when it finally stopped. When it did, he found himself alone and confused.

His mind seemed to have closed a door on what he'd been, before. He knew there _had _been a before, even if he couldn't remember exactly what it was. What he had been before his birth, because that was the only way in which he could think of it. The blessed relief from the pain, accompanied by a sense of wonder and newness at _everything_, all led him to the term. Reborn was an even better word for it.

The confusion was in sharp contrast to his physical senses. He knew he was stronger, but stronger than what, he didn't know. That was as far as he got in his reasoning before a new sensation, overwhelming in its urgency, overtook him.

Thirst, hunger, desire, all rolled into one irresistible need. Instinct told him what to do. He quickly examined the surroundings he'd come to consciousness in – woods. Plants of every kind dominated the landscape - low bushes, tall trees, and vines and parasitic plants that connected the two. The air was dry, the soil rocky. He drew breath into his lungs, not because he needed to breathe, but because that was how he was going to find what he needed to stop the craving. The yearning prevented him from questioning anything – why he was alone, even what he was.

A tendril of a scent, one molecule among billions, did not escape his notice. Before he could recognize it, he was off like a shot through the trees. How he moved! Some niggling memory told him that it was unnatural to move this fast, to be able to react to dodge the trees as nimbly as he did, but the smell grew stronger and forced these random thoughts from his mind. It was dominated by one thing – quenching the thirst. Nothing else mattered. It could be dealt with after the desire was fulfilled.

The scent became defined, and he was able to pin down its source. There was no caution as he bolted for it in a straight line – there was no need for caution. Instinct told him that he was supremely superior to the prey he was after. Nothing would, or could, deny him.

As they finally came into view, an unconscious, low snarl ripped through his teeth. They resembled his own form, but they were sloppy first drafts. Slow, sluggish, dull-witted – they were so obviously prey animals, and he didn't even slow down as he collided with the first of them, taking him to the ground and tearing out its throat in one swift motion. He fastened his lips around the ragged wound, forming a seal, and drank deeply of the precious, steaming liquid. He vaguely heard the other prey animal scream and begin to run, but it did not bother him. He knew he could finish up here and take the other one at his leisure.

After the second one – _human_, his mind told him – was drained, he ran from the scene. Not to escape – there was nothing that he would ever need to escape from. He had the supreme confidence of an apex predator, and fear was not a part of his new genetic make-up. He ran for the joy of it – moving so swiftly and silently was its own reward. Nowhere near the satisfaction of the act of feeding, but still pleasant. As he ran, the nagging questions returned, one by one, and now that the craving was dampened, he felt as if he could entertain them. He climbed a massive Sequoia, ignoring the branches and digging his fingers and bare feet into the bark, which felt as pliable as hot clay to him.

'_What am I?_' was the first, and most important question. He shook his head – how could he know? He moved on to the second question, one that he felt he _should _have the answer to. '_What _was _I?_'

He studied his arm, and recognized the similarity between it and the limbs of the two humans he'd just fed on. The skin, instead of being dull and marked, was perfectly smooth, bulging with subtle musculature. The surface of the skin itself glittered weakly in the fading sunlight. As he took in the rest of his body that he could see, he easily came to the answer of his second question – he had been human, before.

As he followed that passage of thought, he realized with some surprise that he couldn't remember anything about his human life. It didn't disturb him – ultimately, it was unimportant – but it was mysterious. He tried to at least remember his name, and couldn't. It wasn't in his mind for him to find. Some instinct, subtler than the one to feed, told him that maybe it was better that he didn't remember the before. After all, it might cause him to feel pity for the humans he would feed on – and if there were only one thing in life that he was certain of, it was that he would feed again, soon and often.

The only thing that slightly bothered him was the fact that he no longer had a name. He was obviously superior to humans in every way, but this one tiny detail made him feel sub-human, worth less than they were. Animals didn't have names, and he was not an animal. Not a human, either – he was something above and beyond both. Without consciously making the decision, he bolted back to the clearing where he'd had his first meal.

The scavengers hadn't started moving in on the corpses yet. The meat was still warm, and he tried in vain to consume any trace of the blood that he'd missed. He reminded himself that wasn't his purpose for coming back, and forced himself to focus. It wasn't as hard, without the signs of life and blood to distract him. He reached into one of his victim's back pockets, and pulled out a leather wallet. He shook it out, found the document he wanted, and smiled.

"Andrew," he read the first name off of the identification card out loud, and smiled. There was no one around to see it, but even through the bloodstains, it was beautiful. He liked the name – it was simple, non-descript. "I'll take it," he decided, again out loud.

He knew that the discovery of his new life had only just begun, but Andrew was again flooded with the desire to feed as his eyes moved across his first victims. He made the decision to hunt again, to give himself to his instincts until they told him he could stop, or at least slow down.


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

_Winter, 1941_

_Western United States_

Andrew perched on a large rock buried in a snow drift, spying on the small cabin through the trees. The couple who inhabited it were inside, battened down against the rapidly worsening storm. He supposed it was cold, but that was a relative term – he didn't feel temperature, unless it was the heat that only fire could hold. He experimented frequently with his new body, and fire was one thing he'd learned to avoid early on.

He could smell the two humans clearly, but it did not drive him wild with thirst as it once had. The craving was every bit as strong as it had been the first time, but he'd learned to control it, to rein it in. The hunt, the anticipation of the kill could be just as satisfying as the actual meal, and he'd learned to savor it. Sometimes, his prey begged for their lives. He tried to make the kill quickly, when the time came – when he gave them time to talk, he couldn't help feeling a small bit of pity for them. It was nothing compared to the thirst, not nearly enough to stop him, but it was enough to bother him, at least a little.

He noticed everything – the way the light shined a little less brightly through the cabin windows, how the tendril of smoke coming from the chimney lightened and thinned. He knew the man would be coming out to gather more wood for their fire soon – Andrew would take him then. As he fed on the man, the woman would sit inside, warm, comfortable, safe…until the end came swiftly for her, too. When he hunted more than one at a time, he preferred to take them separately – he still didn't like hearing the cries of one while he fed on the other.

Almost on cue, the man, bundled in heavy clothing, opened the cabin door and hurried through the snow to the neat pile of logs. If his eyesight had been sharp enough to pick Andrew out of the background, the sight would have confused him. He would have seen a lean, muscular young man crouched on top of a boulder. The first things he would have noticed would have been the hair – black as ink and fine as silk, and the eyes – blood-red, bright, and menacing. The pale skin of his shirtless chest blended almost invisibly into the snowy background.

Andrew started toward his prey, not rushing, still savoring the moment. Before he could break the treeline, however, an odd scent made him whip his head around to the south. It was a strangely familiar scent, but somehow alien, too. Before he could put two and two together, he saw the other one.

Even though he'd never seen another of his kind, it was plain that this was one of them. His age could have been anywhere from fifteen to twenty-five – he was every bit as handsome as Andrew was, himself. He was also dressed a bit more appropriately, by human standards – a bulky fur coat, not much different from what Andrew's intended prey was wearing, covered him from neck to knees. There was never any doubt that this was another vampire, even though Andrew had never actually encountered one – the ruby eyes, sharp and intelligent, gave it away instantly.

The newcomer shifted his glance between Andrew and the human rapidly, oscillating between curiosity and hunger, respectively. As the two vampires stared across the distance at each other, the man, unaware of the danger he was in, made it back inside the cabin with his bounty of firewood. A deep instinct in Andrew told him to defend his meal against this other vampire, and it warred against the novelty of meeting one of his own.

The other vampire, obviously not worried about the prey escaping him, should it turn out to be his prize, strode toward Andrew slowly and purposefully. Slowly by vampire standards, anyway – he crossed almost all of the one hundred and fifty yards between them in seconds. He stopped a safe thirty feet away and favored Andrew with an uncertain smile.

"Hello," he said mildly, and his voice was pleasant. "My name is Alexander." His accent was an even blend between French and American. "I am from the north, though I have a tendency to wander," he said, gesturing vaguely toward Canada.

Every sense on guard, Andrew tried to return the easy smile. "I am Andrew. Pleased as I am to meet you, it seems we have a conflict of interest," he motioned to the cabin where the two humans dwelled. Andrew took a moment to marvel at his own voice – he tried to remember ever speaking to another being, and couldn't.

Alexander's cautious smile eased into a more natural one at his words. "There are two of them. I am not adverse to sharing if you are not. You can have your pick," he offered kindly.

Andrew decided that this wasn't unreasonable. Alexander was willing to cooperate on the one issue that might have stood in the way of their friendship. A small part of him told him to fight for the prey that was rightfully his, but a much stronger part realized that this Alexander could possibly give him some of the answers to the questions that bothered him.

"I'll have the female, then," Andrew said, almost shyly. They didn't contain as much sustenance as males, but it was often sweeter and more satisfying. Alexander nodded differentially, still smiling.

"When you're ready, friend Andrew," he said graciously. "I'll wait until you're clear of your meal, so that there are no…misunderstandings. After we indulge ourselves, I would not mind some company. If you are willing, of course – it's been a long time since I've had someone to talk to."

Andrew could not believe his luck – the questions he had would soon have answers, possibly. He hadn't dared to hope that there were others of his kind, and even if there were, he hadn't been expecting to meet one. Especially not one who seemed as civilized as Alexander. The thirst nudged him, and he again smiled, almost apologetically. "I'd like that, so I'll be quick about it." He did not turn his back on Alexander as he sidled up to the cabin, but when he was a safer distance away, the smell of the humans became the center of his focus. The thrill of the hunt coupled with possible companionship combined to make him truly happy for the first time in his short life.


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Andrew settled self-consciously into the easy chair farthest away from the fireplace. After he'd carried the bodies away from the cabin, Alexander had made a show of stoking the fire and arranging the candelabras in a more efficient manner. He looked like a person settling into a hotel room for an extended stay. The implication made Andrew uncomfortable – he rarely stayed still for long. Constant ranging kept him occupied, and was more pleasant than sitting around, wondering about things he couldn't possibly know.

After Alexander had made himself at home in the second of the two, overstuffed chairs, he gave Andrew an indulgent look. "Now, let's see about setting your mind at ease. It's plain to see you are full of questions."

Andrew, unabashed that it should be so obvious, leaned forward eagerly. Before he could begin his litany of inquiries, Alexander asked his first. "Let me try to understand where your knowledge lies. It will allow me to educate you more efficiently. I can see that you are new. How old are you?"

The question confused Andrew for a moment. It made him reflexively attempt to think about his previous life, to how old he had been when he was turned. But whatever device his mind had in place to deter such thought, it rejected him once again and left him frustrated. "I don't know," Andrew admitted. "I can't remember."

Alexander looked at him with real surprise. "You don't remember being created?" he asked doubtfully. "When did your…awareness of yourself begin?"

Andrew finally understood the context of the question. "Oh, almost a year. I remember waking up. I was as I am now, but I don't remember anything of my life before."

Alexander wasn't satisfied – he'd never heard of a vampire, newborn or otherwise, not retaining at least partial memories of their human existence. "What about your creator?" he pressed. "Surely you remember him, or her?" Andrew shook his head. "Very odd," Alexander mused. "Unimportant, in the grand scheme of things, but odd."

"How old are you?" Andrew reciprocated Alexander's own question.

Alexander smiled – it was the smile of one who does not exactly expect to be believed. "One hundred and thirty-one."

Andrew, who'd asked the question with no expectations, nodded his unthinking acceptance. "So we _don't _die," he confirmed the conclusion he'd obviously reached on his own.

"Oh, we die," Alexander said easily. "We can be killed as completely as any other animal. It may be harder to do us in, but we are still mortal, in the true sense of the word. If our life is uninterrupted by violence, it is, as far as I know, permanent. Fragile immortality," he mused with a smile.

"How many of us?" was the next question. It was asked eagerly – now that Andrew had been assured that he wasn't one of a kind, he was excited by the thought of making connections with others like him.

Alexander seemed to understand what Andrew wanted out of his question. "We don't exactly keep a census, but we are not rare in the world. I am surprised that I am the first of our kind you've met, even given you're only a year old." He leaned back with an air of someone about to tell a tale. "We are a curious lot, vampires. Extremely social on one hand, sometimes illogically distrustful of each other on the other. Covens and families are not formed easily, and while many of us look at our time among others like us as the best of our lives, the bonds are easily broken."

"Why?" Andrew asked, intrigued. He could not imagine someone like Alexander being a loner – he seemed overly social and genuinely pleased to have company…or at least, an audience.

Alexander sighed. "I still have not puzzled that one out," he admitted. "The dynamics depend on the personalities involved. I know of some covens with two or three members that are hundreds of years old. They would die for each other. Other covens are dozens strong, but the…turnover rate is high. Sometimes it is a matter of convenience, other times just a yearning for company. I know of only two exceptions." Andrew could hear the weight of the words, and knew that he would do well to remember what Alexander said next. "First, the Volturi have been around since the beginning of human history. They have their _own _history that predates the ancients of the human world. They are our kind's royal family, and they uphold the law."

"The law?" Andrew interrupted. He could not imagine anyone trying to police vampires.

"It is not so forbidding as it sounds," Alexander assured him. "As a matter of fact, there is really only one rule for us. Keep yourself a secret from the humans. That's all."

Andrew laughed. After all, any human who found out what he was only had seconds to live, anyway. "So these Volturi hold themselves to a high standard."

Alexander nodded. "Don't ever treat them with a flippant attitude, though," he warned. "Their coven is huge, unshakable, and full of talent. Going against them is tantamount to suicide."

Andrew was growing bored of talking about faceless authorities. "You said there were two exceptions."

Alexander's smile returned, but it was bothered. "Yes. North of us, there is a medium coven of…strange ones," he said distractedly. "More a family than a coven."

"What makes them strange?" Andrew was thirsty for knowledge. He didn't know it, but this was a holdout of his personality from his unremembered, human life.

"They have made the decision to abstain from human blood," Alexander told him, still a distracted note to his tone. "They do not seem to suffer for it, either. As a matter of fact, they seem to be…much more civilized than most of us. More compassionate, which I suppose is to be expected. The leader is a doctor for humans, if you can believe it," he said disdainfully.

Andrew _didn't _believe it. For the first time, he questioned himself for putting any measure of trust in this virtual stranger. "What do you mean? He treats injured humans?" Andrew could not imagine being in close proximity to _any _human for any period of time, let alone an _injured _human.

Alexander seemed pleased at being questioned on this point, as if it reinforced his belief that he was not the only one who found this ridiculous. "Carlisle is old, and has trained himself to ignore the scent of blood. He and his family live among the humans, careful to always hide what they are, surviving on the blood of animals."

Andrew was truly baffled. "But _why_? Doesn't it pain them to be around their natural food source? Doesn't it bother them to have to pretend to be normal?"

Alexander shrugged. "I don't really know. The only reason I know anything is because they caught me on their territory about twenty years ago. I did not know it had been claimed, of course. So when I was confronted by a band of yellow-eyed vampires who claimed to be something different, I tried to learn all that I could. They invited me to stay with them, but it was a loaded invitation. You see, as much as they wanted to educate me, they also wanted to _convert _me. I tried, of course…a challenge is one of my favorite things. But their lifestyle restricts the one thing that I cannot go without, and we parted ways as acquaintances." Alexander seemed to grow restless, and once again got up. He began thumbing through a book he found on the shelf, and Andrew confronted him.

"Why do you do that?" he asked bluntly. "Fiddling with the fire, the candles…sitting to have our conversation…now reading a book? You act more like a human than one of us."

The question didn't seem to bother Alexander. He didn't look up from the book. "You have much to learn, young one. Do you think you can simply run up and down the west coast, killing random people forever?" The question sounded rhetorical. "One day, you will find yourself in a situation where it is more practical to fit in with your prey than it is to feed without restrictions. This is one lesson I took from the Cullens, and one I am thankful for." Andrew assumed the Cullens were the strange clan Alexander had just spoken of. "You see, there will come a time where your interests will change. Not feeding – that is one hobby you'll always have," he said slyly. "But the way in which you go about it will evolve. You'll learn that there are certain satisfactions related to being able to have your prey come to you. Not hunting, but trapping. You'll see," he promised again. He closed the book and smiled abashedly, as if he'd said too much.

Andrew didn't know why, but this pleasant vampire was starting to make him nervous. His instincts were telling him to leave, to go about his way. "What now?" he asked, and Alexander seemed to know exactly what he meant.

"I don't know. I don't suppose you'd want to travel together," he said, and it wasn't really a question. Andrew supposed he'd picked up more of his emotional mood than he'd thought. Alexander seemed to make a decision. "I wasn't really heading anywhere in particular. Just wandering. I'll stay here, in this cabin, until the snow melts. If you'd like to visit, or you find you have any more questions, you will know where to find me. If not…well, if not, then it was a pleasure to meet you, Andrew." Alexander offered his hand, and once again, the gesture did not suit the aura he was giving off. Andrew shook it anyway.

"Thank you, my friend. I will keep that in mind, and I'll try to visit before you move on. Thank you again, for everything." Alexander nodded, his expression still appraising, as Andrew left the cabin a bit too hurriedly for comfort.


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

Andrew ran almost absentmindedly both of speed and direction. He noted that he was heading north, in the direction Alexander had claimed to find the strange ones…but north was a general direction, and North America was a big continent. Besides, even if he had a map, he wouldn't have gone there. What was the point? Andrew agreed with Alexander's assessment – they were interesting, but nothing more than that.

He considered Alexander's words – all of them. His perfect memory allowed him to replay the entirety of the conversation in flawless detail. He _still_ couldn't decide what about Alexander had spooked him. He'd begun pleasantly enough, and the decision to leave had been impulsive. Maybe it was the fact that it hadn't taken long for Alexander to start speaking to him like a child. Maybe it was the unwavering confidence as he explained the path Andrew's life would take, as if it had been written in a book he'd read. Either way, Andrew's instincts had never failed him before in his short life, and he would continue to trust them until they did.

Andrew stopped running as soon as he caught fresh scent. It was a human, no, two, in the area. He'd just fed, and that was the excuse he'd give himself later as to why he acted as he did.

Without conscious thought, he floated closer to where he'd smelled the two people. It wasn't the practiced stalking of prey, but the edging close of someone who wanted to observe something undetected. He heard the two men arguing lightly a moment before he saw them – he had to crush the instinct to rush in and take them.

The men were obviously a part of a sharecropping effort – Andrew did not recognize their crop, or understand why they were growing it in the mountains, hidden. These questions never bothered him – it was the interaction between the men he was interested in. He knew he was falling into Alexander's suggestion that he'd have to learn to be close to humans sooner or later. A challenge was never something to be left hanging, not to Andrew, and he had resolved to learn about his prey as soon as he'd smelled these two.

Their argument was uninteresting and hard to follow. They were trying to decide between two dates to harvest their crop, and the travel arrangements they'd need to make to do it. As they spoke, they walked through the rows of shrubs, watering them. When they were obviously finished and about to leave, Andrew made a snap decision. He had been planning to take them both before they left – now, the sudden inspiration to try to pass as human struck him. There was nothing at risk for him in his new game – if at any point the farmers got suspicious, he could kill them and move on. He smiled at the idea of testing himself to such a point so soon after learning it was even possible, and strode out confidently to meet his first humans.

"Hello," he called, not wanting to startle them. If they ran, or even turned to run, Andrew didn't think he could suppress the instinct to take them. Both were surprised anyway, but didn't react as most humans who were startled.

"Hello," the larger of the two said cautiously, and Andrew could make out his hand holding something in his pocket. The smaller one did not speak, and also didn't conceal what he had in his palm. A large pistol was pointed in Andrew's general direction. He felt the thrill of a challenge strike him again, and smiled wider. Instead of setting the humans at ease, this seemed to unsettle them even more.

Andrew quickly smoothed his face and took a quick self-inventory, and almost laughed at how poorly he'd prepared for his little experiment. He was still shirtless, and the pants he was wearing were torn and too-small, taken off of a victim a few months earlier. He quickly developed an excuse for his condition, and told the tale with all the practice of a professional storyteller.

"I was wondering if you gentlemen might be able to help me," he said haltingly, on purpose. "I was lost on a hunting trip last week, and I think I've come down with a sickness," he explained earnestly, and was confident he would be believed. Most of his victims had come from hunting parties like the one he claimed to have lost. The two men exchanged a glance, and the small man's pistol disappeared beneath his coat. Andrew took this as an encouraging sign and continued. "I can't pay you, but I would be much obliged for a ride into town."

"A sickness?" the first man echoed, and took a few hesitant steps toward the vampire to see him more clearly. He studied Andrew's face, and an expression of suspicious crossed his own. "Is that what's wrong with your eyes?"

Andrew's hands shot to his face, trying to look surprised. "My eyes? Is there something wrong with my eyes?" he tried to sound worried.

"Only that they look like you've been drinking gasoline," the second man told him. "What town are you looking to go back to?"

Andrew shrugged – he didn't know where he was, exactly, let alone the names of nearby towns. "Wherever you can take me. I need to see a doctor," he said with a tiny trace of humor – he was thinking of Alexander's friend, Carlisle, when he said this.

The first man still had his suspicious look. "You don't sound sick. Or look it, except for your eyes."

Andrew thought he might have picked the most perceptive humans in the Pacific Northwest to try and hoodwink for the first time, but the thought encouraged him further instead of dissuading him. He decided to try a new approach. "Okay. If you think I'm fine, and I'm just wandering around out here in the cold with no shirt for fun, then leave. I'll stay here with your crop and wait for the next person to come out."

At the mention of the crop, both men traded another look, this one resigned. Andrew had been counting on their defensive attitude toward the hidden farm, and it worked. The small man sighed. "Get in the truck. Three rules," he stated. "No names. We don't want to know you and you don't get to know us. Two, you ride in the bed of the pick-up – we don't want to catch what you have. Three – and this is the most important – you will forget what you saw here." He had produced the pistol once more, and waved it at the swaying shrubs. "We found you while we were out checking fur traps. Got it?"

Andrew's curiosity was up – what _were _these two scandalous humans up to out here alone in the forest? He decided he'd unravel the mystery later if he got bored and went to climb aboard the truck. He tried to match the clumsy, slow, jerky movements of the farmers. His path took him to within ten feet of one of the humans, and Andrew instinctively held his breath. Once he was settled and the two humans were in the cab of the vehicle, he decided to test himself with one tiny inhalation. The flood of human scent was strong, very strong...but not unbearable. He smiled to himself as the vehicle began bouncing down the dirt path, pleased with his progress and anxious to see what would come of it.


	6. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

The two humans in the cab of the pick-up truck obviously thought their conversation was made private by the roar of the diesel engine. Andrew listened with amusement as they discussed what to do with him. It seemed as if they were conflicted by the basic human instinct to take care of their own and the greed at having a potential monkey wrench in their clearly illegal operation. As they spoke of different options, including killing Andrew and dumping his body, Andrew reflected that his "rescuers" were more predator than prey. If they were all like this, Andrew would never have to feel bad about killing humans again.

The smaller man, who was clearly the leader, was the one most willing to commit murder. He decided against it in the end – obviously, he wasn't quite malevolent enough to kill a young man just for wandering into the wrong part of the woods. As the road went from red clay to course gravel, the beginning of civilization started to present itself. At first, it was just signs of logging activity. Then, as the road became more packed and solid, the first wooden houses began to dot the landscape. Andrew felt a thrill as he realized this was as close to a human society as he'd been. There were always humans in the wilderness. Going into their habitat had never been necessary.

The truck pulled off to the side of the road before they could really get into the heart of town. No houses were visible. The smaller man got out of the passenger's seat and walked around to the bed of the truck. Andrew did his best to look like he was panting shallowly while not breathing at all. The man rested his forearms on the side of the bed and studied Andrew intently.

"You don't _look _sick," he told Andrew again, full of suspicion. Andrew was annoyed that his act hadn't fooled the human. "As a matter of fact, you look like you're in the best shape of your life. You sure you need to see a doctor?"

Andrew, who never had any intention of going to a medical professional, smiled. "I guess not. I'm feeling better just getting out of the forest." He looked around. "Are we in a town?"

The man didn't take his eyes off of him. "Almost. We're heading into Big Bend. No hospital, but there's a doc."

Andrew pressed for more information. "Are we still in Oregon?"

The man looked at him like he was crazy. "Oregon's at least eighty miles north. You mean to tell me you wandered eighty miles, sick and alone?"

Andrew shrugged, not really paying attention. The man's comment put them in northern California. For some reason, California rang familiar with the newborn, but he couldn't break through the mental barriers to remember _why_. "How should I know? You just said it – I was _lost_."

The man didn't let it go, as Andrew expected. The young vampire tasted the air, and suddenly he could smell adrenaline mixed in with the scent of blood and sweat. The man knocked on the door of the cab twice, and at the signal, the driver stepped out. He pulled out his gun again, and was not shy about pointing it in Andrew's general direction. Eyes narrowed, he said, "I don't like this one bit. This _stinks_. Who are you?" There was no question that the gun was trained on Andrew, now. "You'd better come clean right now. Who sent you to the farm?"

Even though the pistol wasn't dangerous to Andrew, a deep part of him resented being threatened. Before he could stop it, a low snarl ripped from his chest. The gun wavered, as did the man behind it. He took an involuntary two steps backward, and then changed his earlier question. "What are you?" he asked in a voice that was every bit as shaky as the gun he held. Andrew could hear that the bigger man behind him had also retreated a few steps, as well.

Andrew lithely hopped out of the bed, and slowly and deliberately stalked toward the man with the gun. He had a smile on his angel's face, but that somehow made him seem exponentially more dangerous. "No. My turn. You're going to answer some of my questions, now."

The man was brave. Even as he stepped backward, he chambered a round into the pistol and steeled himself. "Stop right there. I got no problem shooting a kid," he warned.

In less than the time it took to blink, Andrew darted forward, snatched the gun, and backed away a few paces. As the man looked in shock both at his empty hand and Andrew's suddenly-full grip, he let out a little moan. In one quick motion, Andrew ripped the slide off of the pistol and dropped the weapon to the ground in two pieces. "There. Now we're both a little safer," he said soothingly, but like his smile, this did nothing to set the man at ease. "What were you two doing in the forest?" he asked lightly, as if he didn't care for the answer.

The man took a moment to look surprised, and glanced at his partner, who was a full twenty-five yards away from the developing confrontation. "You mean you don't know? I figured some nosy bastard or a John Law sent you."

"What were you two doing in the forest?" Andrew repeated calmly.

"Growing pot," the man said, with a look that said he didn't quite believe that was what Andrew was asking him. "You know, marijuana?"

At that word, Andrew's locked memory cracked just the tiniest bit. He got a flash of a party, other humans standing around laughing in a smoky room. Someone was playing a guitar in the corner. Another person had a cigarette, but it wasn't a cigarette…and then his memory slammed shut, revealing nothing else. Andrew snarled again in frustration.

The man must have thought that Andrew was protesting his activities with his growl. "Now hold on! I know it's illegal, but that's just because the timber barons make the laws around here, and -"

"I don't care about that," Andrew cut him off. He wanted time to interrogate this man. The more he interacted with them, the more he realized he needed to learn. Not only that…it was like he already _knew_, but he was re-learning. More than anything, he wanted to talk until this man set another trigger off in his mind, perhaps allowing him to remember something, _anything_, else.

He was out of time, though. The wind carried the breeze from town toward him, and he could smell two creatures approaching. One was a wild, if unattractive, scent he'd smelled a few times before. The other was deliciously human. Young and female, from the smell of it. He honestly didn't want to kill these two men, but they knew he was different. They might not know exactly what he was, but they knew enough to raise the alarm.

Andrew made a snap decision. He reigned in his strength and lightly landed an open hand to the man's temple. He went down hard, and Andrew was relieved that the skin hadn't split under the blow. He leapt the truck and the road in a single bound and struck the second man in a similar fashion. Both unconscious, he carried them fifty yards into the forest, out of sight of the road. He would come back to them to finish them if necessary, but he had a feeling he'd be far away before they awoke.

He would have been lying to himself if he said he'd left them alive out of mercy. The truth was, the approaching female smelled ten times more appealing than these men. The truth was, he didn't want to spoil his appetite before dinner arrived.


	7. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

Before he left the unconscious criminals, he tugged the light parka off of the smaller of the men and pulled it around himself. He casually walked back to the truck and sat on the hood, legs dangling in front of the bumper. He made it a point to lean back and swing his legs to tap his feet against the grill, as if he were keeping time. After a moment, a young woman riding a horse much too large for her crested the hill.

Her eyes flashed in surprise as they happened over the young man on the hood of the truck, but she smothered it and smiled warmly at him as she approached. Andrew returned the smile, trying not to show too many teeth. The way the young lady held her own smile in place told him he was doing a good job of appearing non-threatening. They were still a football field apart, too far for easy communication – they just studied each other as the horse casually clopped its way down the road. When they were close enough together, the girl raised her hand in a wave.

"Hi," she said shyly. Her eyes didn't leave Andrew's, but the ruby color didn't seem to disturb her the way it did the other humans.

"Hello," he said easily. To have something to say, he commented on the size of the massive horse she was riding.

Her laughter was a soft, delicious sound to Andrew. "Shiloh here isn't my usual mount," she admitted. "Times are tough. I'm taking him to Cassel to sell him to a rancher there."

Andrew took in all the mouthwatering details of the girl – her skin was flawless, tinted a light tan that was natural as opposed to sun-induced. Her hair was the very lightest shade of true black, which gave it an almost purple sheen. She was young, fit, and confident. He forced himself to calm down as asked the obvious question. "How will you get home, if you're selling your horse?" As he asked the question, a small part of him went to war. He enjoyed this...toying with his meal. He also inexplicably loathed himself for it, and berated himself for not just killing her quickly and peacefully. Because letting her go was not an option – he _would _have her.

She tugged lightly on the reigns, and the horse seemed more than happy to stop. "Well, I'll walk," she said, as if that were obvious. "It's only a few miles." She took her eyes off of the young stranger for the first time, and her smile faltered as she took in the truck he was sitting on. "Isn't that Red Grumman's truck?" she asked, trying not to sound suspicious and not succeeding.

Andrew carefully kept his easy smile on his face. "_Was_. I made him an offer he couldn't refuse on it."

He couldn't tell if she believed him or not, but her features were schooled toward innocent indifference. "I'm Anne," she said, changing the subject.

"Andrew," he replied, and another part of him rebelled at this familiarity. It told him that he was opening the door to regret what he would do to her later.

"Nice to meet you, Andrew." She reluctantly glanced at her wristwatch and sighed lightly. "I would love to get to know you, but I _do _have an appointment to keep. Maybe we'll see each other again?" she asked hopefully.

Before he knew what he was doing, the words were out of his mouth. "Why don't I follow you and give you a ride home?" He carefully watched her for her reaction.

If he had scared her, or even caught her off-guard, she hid it well. "That would be just fine," she said easily. He didn't know whether she was brave or just naïve, taking a ride from a total stranger. His killer's mind was rejoicing in the fact that she'd be all his to take as he wanted, and the fact that they'd be in the other human's truck would only take the suspicion off of him. "It's not much farther," she broke him out of his thoughts. "Maybe a mile."

He kept pace with her as she traveled. The roar of the motor made conversation impossible, but he didn't miss the way she kept stealing glances at him. Part of him was encouraged – she was obviously smitten, and he knew she'd go anywhere with him. Part of him was disturbed, taking advantage of her like this. '_No wonder I never took the time to be familiar with them,_' he thought. '_It's harder this way._' He couldn't let go of the hope that human interaction would bring more memories back to him, though.

She yelled over the engine noise when they arrived at the dirt path that would take her to the farm. Andrew promised that he'd wait at the end of the path for her to return and she spurred her horse into a gallop, obviously wanting to hurry back to the enchanting young man.

She disappeared from sight but her scent lingered, which made rational thinking difficult. Andrew admitted to himself that if he could stand being in the enclosed cab with her for any amount of time, it would be a major victory on the self-control front. He went into an almost-meditative state, trying to will himself toward controlling his thirst.

Both too soon and too long, Anne returned into view, walking buoyantly down the path toward him. He again felt guilty and shoved it aside. What would happen would happen – he was more or less a slave to his instincts, he knew that. But if he could just deny them for a _while_, something good could come of it.

As she approached, Andrew got out of the cab and went to the passenger's side, trying to move slowly. He opened the door for her and encouraged her in with another radiant smile. She returned it and climbed in, brushing the front of his new coat ever-so-slightly as she did. Andrew shivered from the contact, so different from the normal feeling of feeding. He got in himself and cranked the engine. He started back toward Big Bend, driving slowly in first gear to dampen the noise enough to talk.

"So," she said breezily. "I thought I knew pretty much everybody in these parts. Are you new to town?" There was no suspicion in her tone, no accusation – just plain curiosity.

"No," he said carefully. "I'm passing through, and I needed a vehicle. The man I met sold me his truck. He got more than a fair deal," he said honestly, thinking that his being left alive was an over-the-top payment from a newborn vampire.

"Oh." There was no mistaking the disappointment in her voice. "Will you stay a while? I'm sure my father could be persuaded to put you up in the guest house," she offered, trying not to sound hopeful and not succeeding.

Andrew didn't answer – he could no longer resist tasting the air in the cab, and allowed a few molecules of air to pass through his nose. He visibly jerked, unable to resist moving toward her slightly and quickly. Quickly enough that she didn't notice the indiscretion, fortunately. The bouquet flowing off of this girl was quite possibly the most flavorful thing he'd ever smelled, and he was vastly proud of himself for not taking her right then.

"I don't…think that would be a good idea," he said distractedly. He was doing his best not to kill the girl, but he was losing the battle. The scent was intoxicating, like a powerful wine after a long bout of sobriety. It left him wanting more.

Unafraid, she leaned a little closer to him and studied his schooled features. "You're a funny one," she said with a trace of humor in her voice. Her posture somehow grew braver, and she smiled. "Don't you like me?" she asked.

"Too much," he muttered absentmindedly. He was already studying various places along the road to pull over so he could lure her among the trees. It took every ounce of his will to keep the truck on the road. The war in his mind was maddening. On one hand, he really did like Anne. She wasn't unlocking any memories for him yet, but there was an openness about her that he liked on a level other than the need to feed. On the other hand, he had never come across such an appetizing human – probably because most of the people he encountered in the forest were males, predators in their own way. He glanced at her and barked a laugh as he realized _she _was looking at _him _almost hungrily.

"You're funny," she repeated. "So, if you won't stay, why did you offer me a ride?" she challenged.

"I don't know," he answered honestly. He knew why he wanted her, of course, but not why he'd suggested this painful charade.

His instincts finally won out. He abruptly pulled the truck off of the road and got out, ignoring her questioning look. He walked around to her side and opened the door. He looked at her as sensually as he could manage and said in a low, seductive voice, "Come for a walk with me. Please." This last part wasn't a plea, more of a promise that she wouldn't regret it. It was a lie, of course. He didn't wait for her reply, he just led the way into the trees. A short moment later, he heard the door close and the light footsteps behind him, and he smiled to himself.


	8. Chapter 7

**Author's Note: **I know it's a huge fandom and you all have _tons _of Twilight fics to read, but I definitely would be thankful if you left a short review if you _do _read. I'm having fun with this story, but a little encouragement never hurts.

Chapter Seven

Andrew was still slightly indecisive as to his intentions as he lead her deeper into the foggy forest. He knew deep down that Anne wouldn't survive this encounter, but the thought was negative, for some reason. He didn't know it, but his thinking was like that of an addict – craving the drug and dreading the consequences of using it.

"Andrew? Where are we going?" Anne asked curiously from behind him, and he turned. The move must have been a little too fast to pass as human, because her eyes slightly widened and she instinctively took a step away from him.

He didn't answer right away. He was fighting the urge to pounce, trying to force himself to stand upright and appear calm. He was mindful of his expression, not wanting to scare her, but the spell Andrew had cast over her was fading and a healthy dose of fear flooded through her. She seemed to realize that she didn't know this handsome stranger at all, and she'd followed him into the forest willingly. She shivered slightly as she realized that no one knew where she was and that she wouldn't be missed for several hours, at least.

They were roughly ten paces apart, and even though he was the cause of her sudden discomfort, she took a hesitant step toward him. "Andrew? You're starting to worry me," she said, trying to remain calm. "Please tell me why we're here."

He inhaled so he would be able to answer her, and he was almost taken under by her scent. He wasn't able to resist – he began pacing, his eyes never leaving hers. He didn't draw closer to her, but he was well within striking distance anyway. His pacing pushed her nervousness over the edge into slight panic. She looked down at the dirt, and when she met his gaze again, her eyes blazed defiantly. "Are you going to rape me?" she asked bluntly.

Andrew could not help but to feel startled, and he barked out a pleasant laugh. "Rape? No, that's the furthest thing from my mind," he assured her.

She seemed to sense the truth in his words, and her posture relaxed slightly. "Why are we here?" she asked again.

"I won't lie to you," he promised. "You're simply…irresistible, Anne. I'm not like you. I wish I could say I mean you no harm, but that would be lying. I promise to try to make it painless, though."

He marveled at the way she flexed at his words – instead of frightening her, they seemed to strengthen her. "I wish you wouldn't hurt me, but I already knew you were different," she said matter-of-factly. "The eyes…" she trailed off. "I guess I knew that there was a chance you might hurt me," she admitted.

Andrew was focused on his prey, but surprise registered when she said that. He couldn't stop a question of his own. "Why did you come with me if you knew I was dangerous?"

She replied instantly. "I guess…I just hoped. I hoped that you wouldn't hurt me, that maybe you would give into your more gentle nature."

Andrew's surprise deepened. "My more gentle nature?" he repeated.

She actually smiled. "Yes. It's obvious you're conflicted. That you're something dangerous…but that you don't want to be. I hoped you'd give in to the part that doesn't want to hurt me. Because there _is _a part of you that likes me and means me no harm. Isn't there?"

Andrew resumed his pacing, but nodded. "There is. Unfortunately, I don't think it's strong enough."

She nodded back, as if she'd more or less expected this. "Are you going to kill me?" she asked bravely.

"Yes," Andrew said, still unable to lie to the beautiful, bold girl in front of him.

"Can you tell me what you are first? If you plan to kill me anyway?"

"A monster," he replied instantly, torn between being impressed and wanting to end the conversation. Violently. "You'd call me a vampire."

She nodded again, and closed her eyes. "Can you make it quick?" she breathed, letting the fear tint her voice just a bit.

Andrew was literally physically restraining himself, now. The kill was imminent, and both of them could feel it. He felt like he owed this girl something in return for her life, though. "You won't feel a thing," he promised. He toiled over what he wanted to say next, and gave in. "I wish I didn't have to, Anne. I don't _want_ to kill you," he said sadly, and once again, his tone denied disbelief. "I can't help what I am, though. If you could feel what I feel…if you could understand…"

She opened her eyes and surprised him again. She walked boldly toward him, and even though he was in pure predatory mode, he still took a step back. She didn't miss a beat as she stopped a foot away and reached out to touch his face. He watched her own face marvel at the feel of his skin, and could literally taste the vibration of her radial pulse, inches from his mouth. He grabbed her hand gently and tilted his mouth toward her wrist.

Anne closed her eyes and gasped as his lips brushed the inside of her wrist. He unconsciously parted them and gently sunk his teeth into her skin. The veins and arteries severed easily and poured her blood into his mouth. Conscious thought left him as he started vigorously drinking of her blood until she groaned, this time in pain. He remembered his promise to her through the haze of desire, and shifted his teeth from her wrist to the side of her neck. The blood flowed even faster, and he felt her fading as he greedily fed.

Before he knew it, she was gone. He knelt, holding her drained and lifeless body to his chest. He took his mouth away from her neck, and looked at her pretty face one more time. Her eyes were closed, and she looked like she could be peacefully sleeping if not for the ragged patches of skin on her throat and wrist. Fed and physically satisfied, he felt first a pang of regret, then a flood of remorse. How could anyone stand getting this close to something he intended on killing? What was the _point_? He set her down gently on the bracken of the forest floor, feeling a weight settling onto his chest.

He ran. He ran away from something for the first time in his memory. He had no idea why, but the dead girl in the clearing scared him. She scared him deeply and shook him to his core, so he ran away.


	9. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

Without making a conscious decision to go there, Andrew ran at full tilt toward the cabin where he'd met Alexander. He knew its location as clearly as if he'd had a marked map and compass and easily found the path back. He wanted someone to blame for the way he felt now, and that someone was Alexander. After all, wasn't it Alexander who'd suggested he'd enjoy trapping and tricking his prey? Andrew himself felt tricked and let the anger fuel his graceful stride.

When he broke into the clearing where the cabin was settled, Alexander was standing outside waiting for him. He'd either heard or smelled the newborn's approach and he looked wary, as if he somehow knew Andrew had come for a confrontation. "Hello, hello, my friend," he called to the newborn. His voice was as wary as his posture.

Andrew stopped relatively far away, not trusting himself not to attack the older vampire at the moment. He ignored the pleasantries Alexander was so fond of. "What is wrong with you?" he demanded. "Telling me that I'd enjoy trapping the humans, getting to know them – why would you _say _that?"

Alexander looked truly surprised. "Why, I meant in the future…_far _into the future. You're barely a year old – you haven't had time to come to terms with what you are yet. Maybe years from now, when your self-control is better, you may be able to interact with humans. But surely not yet, my friend." His tone changed into a sympathetic one. "What happened?"

Andrew laughed humorlessly. "What do you think happened? I tried to restrain myself around humans because you told me it was possible. I got to know some of them and then I killed one. The one who trusted me, the one that I liked…I _killed _her. Why would anyone want to get to know someone that they can't help but to kill? Are you sick?" Andrew was building toward fury again, and Alexander raised his hands, placating.

He seemed to ignore Andrew's anger and focused on part of what he said. "You say you got to know _some_? But you only killed one?" Andrew, too angry to speak, nodded once, curtly. Alexander graced him with a smile, which only infuriated Andrew further. "Then your self-control is better than you have any right to expect at this point in your existence," he said, praising. "Congratulations."

Andrew snarled violently, lowering himself into a crouch. Alexander's pacifying demeanor instantly changed. "You had better get a hold of yourself, young one," he said, and his voice was hard. "If you choose to attack me over something _you _did, do not expect me to have mercy. I did not grow as old as I am by being a poor fighter. This is the only warning you'll get."

Andrew heard the seriousness in the words and believed them, but the anger was overpowering. He growled menacingly again, and stalked forward a few steps. He wanted Alexander to understand that he was serious, and he also wanted him to understand that he was not afraid of him. "_You _warn _me_? Maybe age has made you delusional," he said, smoldering. "Maybe it's time you had another fight on your hands."

Alexander did not back down – in fact, he began to match Andrew's side-to-side stalking maneuver. "Perhaps – but that is up to you. I won't attack you; you're upset, and understandably so. But place blame where blame is due. I don't want to hurt you, but if you insist on it, then let's have no more talk. Make a choice – fight me or don't." He lowered himself into a crouch of his own and slightly bared his teeth.

Just then the wind gusted violently, as if nature itself was encouraging hostilities between the two vampires. Alexander's words – "_Place blame where blame is due_" – reverberated with him. Andrew slightly relaxed his hostile posture, but his voice was still accusing. "You misled me," he told Alexander.

Alexander matched the lightening of the aggressive posture, and drew himself upright. "Not purposely – that is the truth," he insisted. "What would be my motivation to torture you?" he challenged.

Andrew visibly composed himself and completely dropped the hostile stance. "I'm sorry, Alexander. I'm upset. You're right, you have no motive here. It's on me." Remorse dripped from the heavy words, and Alexander seemed to take pity. He took a pleading step toward the newborn and extended a hand as if to hold hands with Andrew, even though they were still several yards apart.

"I'm sorry, too, my friend," he said sincerely. "I may not be fully responsible for the way you feel, but my neglect instigated it. I should have done a better job of educating you. If you'll give me the chance, I'd hear your story, and I'll try to teach you more thoroughly."

Andrew walked to him, and felt only mild discomfort as Alexander put an arm around his shoulders and led him into the cabin. He felt lost, confused. Before he'd met Alexander, things were simpler. But, in retrospect, the way he'd been living felt _wrong_.

Andrew explained the incident and his feelings about it as best he could. Alexander listened thoughtfully, only interrupting to ask one question toward the end of the tale. "Please don't be put out, Andrew. I only want to understand, and to help you understand yourself. If you would have fed on the two men and left the girl alive, would you feel better?"

"Yes," Andrew answered immediately. "They were criminals, bad people. The girl was innocent and I liked her. She trusted me and I betrayed her."

"Bad people," Alexander repeated thoughtfully. "Andrew, I am quite old enough to know the inner workings of our desires. This is not a slight against you, but even if you _had_ killed the men, I doubt you would have been able to resist the girl. It sounds as if she was beyond your threshold for resistance. Some blood calls to us more strongly than others. Surely you understand that."

Andrew shrugged disgustedly. "We'll never know, because I didn't try to resist her. I gave in all too easily."

Alexander looked at him as if seeing him for the first time. "On the contrary, it sounds to me like you gave a very good effort to leave her alone. I understand all too well what you felt when you smelled her, and I am shocked you resisted for so long. You have very curious morals for a newborn – especially a newborn who doesn't remember their human life."

"You could explain that," Andrew said dryly.

Alexander shrugged himself. "Sometimes a new vampire has an aversion to killing at the same time they suffer the thirst. Almost always, the thirst is strong enough to overpower feelings of guilt. I think the distaste of killing is always a leftover from being human ourselves at one time. But you don't _remember _your human life, yet you have a much stronger objection to murder than most. Very curious, indeed."

Andrew felt the internal tug-of-war. The need to understand himself balanced itself against his obvious need to feed. He began to shake slightly at the memory of Anne in the forest, moments before he'd killed her. "_I hoped that you wouldn't hurt me, that maybe you'd give in to your more gentle nature._"

"What _am _I?" Andrew asked in a tortured voice. "Why is this so _hard?_"

Alexander put a light hand on his shoulder. "I won't lie, my friend – I don't exactly know. I want to help you, but I don't know how." Andrew shuddered again, this time at the thought of being so radically different from the only other of his kind he knew. Alexander's voice was kind and wise. "I _do _know someone who might be able to. If you can travel, I'll take you to meet my friend Carlisle. He's the only one I know who seems to think like to you. Would you like to go?" He sounded like a benevolent grandfather offering to help, and Andrew nodded.

"When?" he asked Alexander, almost pleading. He needed this internal conflict to stop before it tore him apart.

Alexander took his fur coat off of its hanger and slid it on in one swift motion. "Now. Let's go, Andrew." Andrew gratefully followed him out of the cabin and into the pine forest.


	10. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

Andrew blindly followed Alexander for hours, caught up in his own self-recriminations. He was angry at himself for being so disgusted by what he had done – after all, Alexander had done a decent job of explaining that, by all means, he shouldn't expect to have the self-control he desired of himself, at least not yet. He latched on to the hope that Alexander's friend could help him to understand himself, if not control what he was.

He was so introspective that it surprised him when Alexander suddenly stopped. They'd first traveled through redwood forests, then through mountainous terrain, and finally through deep pine forests. His senses told them they were far to the north of where they'd started. Alexander held his hand out to Andrew.

"It would be best if I went first to tell Carlisle of our arrival," he said. "Though they are more peaceful than your average vampire, they still aren't anything to sneak up on." Andrew nodded his understanding and watched as Alexander flitted through the dense forest.

In a matter of minutes, Alexander returned, not with one but five vampires in tow. At Andrew's look of surprise, Alexander smiled a little abashedly. "It seems Carlisle's family has grown in my absence," he explained. The oldest male, who really didn't look very old at all, stepped forward with a warm smile for the newborn.

"Hello, Andrew," he said kindly. He gestured to him family members in turn. "This is my wife, Esme; my sons, Edward and Emmett; my daughter, Rosalie." They all stood easily, which was to be expected, outnumbering the visitors as they did. What was surprising was the civilized air they all exhibited. Their golden eyes seemed to match their peaceful demeanor. The only thing that made Andrew slightly uncomfortable was the intensity with which the one called Edward studied him.

They were all well-dressed and it made Andrew momentarily self-conscious of his ragtag appearance. "_I look like a pauper about to beg them for spare change,_" Andrew thought randomly, and was surprised when Edward snickered as if he'd heard.

"Alexander tells me you have questions," Carlisle said. "I don't know if I'll be able to answer them for you, but I'm more than willing to try," he offered with another smile.

"Carlisle is too modest," Alexander said. "If anyone can help you with your…dilemma…it's him."

Andrew nodded, unable to say more. Emmett stood easily, looking not exactly menacing, but the big vampire did look ready for trouble. He looked to Edward, who was still studying Andrew intently. Edward turned to his brother and gave a minute shake of the head. Emmett looked satisfied at the silent exchange. He relaxed, took Rosalie's hand, and disappeared into the forest. Esme curtsied with invisible skirts and followed them.

Alexander broke the silence. "It was good to see you again, Carlisle." He turned to Andrew. "You're in good hands, my friend. Please, visit me when you're through here. You know where to find me."

"You're not staying?" Andrew asked in surprise.

"I'm afraid not," Alexander replied. "As I said, this is the Cullens' range, and they prefer that no one hunt on their land. While I admire their lifestyle, it's not one I can abide by," he admitted. He shook first Carlisle's hand, then Edward's. He clapped Andrew on the shoulder, and then he was gone, back the way he'd come. Andrew felt gratitude toward him for traveling all this way just to make an introduction for him.

Carlisle motioned for Andrew to fall in beside him and Edward as he casually paced in the direction his family had gone. His gait was barely faster than human speed, and Andrew assumed it was to give the three of them the chance to speak in private. "Alexander tells me you're quite new to this life, but that you have an…aversion to our natural lifestyle," he said easily, and Andrew noticed how he'd casually placed himself in the same category as Andrew. He also noticed how he acknowledged that his family's lifestyle was _unnatural_.

"Yes, I guess," Andrew said. "Well, I don't know," he amended. "I…fed on a young woman earlier." He felt almost ashamed, speaking of killing a human in the presence of the obviously pacifistic vampires. "It was unpleasant. I liked her," he clarified. "I didn't want to kill her, but I didn't have a choice." He thought again of his new hosts. "Well, I suppose I _did _have a choice, but it didn't feel like it."

Carlisle nodded easily, as if he understood all too well what Andrew was trying to say. "I'm surprised that you felt any remorse at all," he said openly. "It usually takes years, and a very special connection, to reach the understanding you seem to have."

"But I don't understand _anything_," he objected. "I'm confused about everything."

Carlisle nodded again as they came into view of a large, beautiful house. "As I said, that's natural for some of us. It's only rare how soon it happened for you." He gestured to the grand home. "This is where we live. I want you to understand that you're welcome here for as long as you like; the only thing that I ask is that you refrain from hunting within a hundred miles or so. I have a feeling that might not be as much of a problem for you as it would be for others."

At the mention of hunting, Andrew felt an urge of desire, but he crushed it beneath his will. He would do nothing to offend these strange, kind vampires. "I'll do as you ask. You don't have to worry." Carlisle again looked at Edward inexplicably, who nodded as if in agreement with Andrew's statement.

Carlisle graced him with another smile. "According to what Alexander told me, I think you could benefit from a conversation with Edward. As I said, my home is your home. Please be at ease here." He left the two younger-looking vampires together as he joined the rest of his family inside.

Edward gave him a friendly nod. "Hello, I'm Edward Cullen," he formally introduced himself with a proper human handshake. "I don't know how much I can help you, despite what Carlisle says – so much of who we are depends on our own experiences. I can tell you my story and let you make of it what you will," he offered.

Appreciation flowed through Andrew. "Thank you, that would be fine," he said. "I feel like anything could help at this point."

Edward nodded thoughtfully. "Yes. You're very confused, especially about Anne," he said carefully, not wanting to offend, but obviously wanting to get to the point.

Andrew's mouth opened in shock. He thought for a nanosecond that Alexander might have told the Cullens the name of the girl he'd abducted and killed, but realized he'd never told Alexander. Before he could speak, Edward clarified.

"Oh, um, yeah," he said, slightly awkward. "I can sort of read minds," he said with a hint of a smile.

Andrew smothered his shock. "Well, _that's _convenient," he said, and Edward snickered. Andrew decided then and there that he liked the younger Cullen brother. Edward started walking, taking a meandering path around the house, and Andrew fell into step beside him.

"I understand your confusion," he said, and his tone _was_ understanding. "I was lucky enough to be converted by Carlisle, who's led this peaceful life for much longer than I've been alive," he explained. "I always knew it was an option, and in some ways, it's the less-tumultuous life for those like us. That doesn't mean I didn't…go off on my own, for a while," he said, sounding slightly embarrassed. "You see, I was resentful of Carlisle. I thought he was holding me back, making me deny my very nature. And I have an advantage over others – I can hear the minds of my potential prey. I knew which were good and which were evil. I thought by differentiating the two, it would make me somewhat immune to a guilty conscience. And for a while, it did."

Edward read the thoughts running through Andrew's mind, and nodded his agreement with them. "You're exactly right – it took me almost four years to understand that. I was playing God, and anyone who plays that game understands the risk involved. For me, when it came crashing down, it crashed hard. Carlisle welcomed me back into his family graciously – more graciously than I deserved," he admitted.

Andrew was impressed, both by Edward's honesty and obvious desire to be a good person. He also was very confused about one particular point, which he asked about. "But the thirst?" he questioned. "What do you do about the _thirst_? I wanted to fight it, with Anne…but I _couldn't_." He wondered if that made him weaker than Edward, who shook his head in mild disagreement with the thought.

"It's like any addiction, Andrew," he said calmly. "I had an alternative laid out for me. I had a support system in place. It still wasn't enough for me – not at first. Believe me – I understand all too well the fight to deny it. I also understand losing that fight. I am truly sorry, for you and for her," he said kindly.

"So, you drink animal blood?" Andrew asked, changing the subject. There was a direct correlation between scent and taste – the better a person smelled, the better they tasted. Andrew had never come across any animal that held a portion of the appeal of the least-desirable human.

"It's not the best," Edward allowed. "But, if you ask me, it's more than a fair trade. I don't have to fight with my conscience anymore."

Andrew tried to envision himself living like the Cullens. He tried to imagine never tasting human blood again. His whole mind rebelled against the idea violently. How? How could he ever go without it? The simple answer was that he didn't think he could.

Edward nodded as if Andrew had spoken out loud. "It is very difficult, especially at the beginning. It all comes down to one thing – if you want to be a murderer or not. If the answer is no, then the sacrifice is worth it. Now, do you mind if I ask you a question?" Edward inquired politely.

Andrew grinned. "Do you have to ask?"

Edward laughed. "I can only hear what you're thinking. If you're not thinking about it, then I _do_ have to ask." Andrew motioned for him to go ahead. "You really don't remember anything about being…created?" he asked. "You don't remember the pain?"

At the mention of it, Andrew's mind _did_ flash back to his excruciating birth. "It's the first memory I have. I wish I didn't remember," he said vehemently. "It would be worth it if I could remember anything _before_, but I can't."

"Very curious," Edward said thoughtfully. He seemed to brighten. "So. Would you like to see how w_e _feed?"

Andrew thought of drinking animal blood, and the thought slightly disgusted him. "Don't knock it until you've tried it, I guess," he said, wrinkling his nose. Edward laughed heartily, and motioned for Andrew to follow him into the dimly lit forest.


End file.
